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  • Writer's pictureTony Richards

How Self-Talk Affects Your Self-Esteem

Your self-talk can drastically affect your self-esteem. Your self-talk is the dialogue that is consciously and constantly running through your mind as you live day to day. It contains within it the interpretation and meaning you have assigned to situations that are real and also imagined. Every human being has a stream of self-talk running at around 50,000 thoughts per day. You know what yours sounds like and what it’s saying.

Let’s give you a real-life type situation:

As you are walking down the hallway toward your office, you meet the boss of the company. He’s looking down at some papers while he walks in your direction and breezes right past you never looking up from his papers. Immediately your self-talk kicks in, saying…

“Here comes the CEO, I’ll bet he won’t say hello, he doesn’t know or care who I am”


“Here comes the CEO, I’m way too low on the totem pole for him to even say hello to someone like me”


“Here comes the CEO, he looks busy, so he won’t even notice I’m here, but if he did, he would say hi to me”

Your self-talk has been developed over time through repetitive thinking. It is influential on how you feel and what you believe about your core self. But you can learn to “unthink” the thoughts that do not support you. Through leadership development, you can reduce the thoughts that keep you from becoming who you want to be. Thinking negative thoughts is not a crime. It just makes it harder for you to live the life or have the career you most desire. That self-talk stream can create roadblocks that you have to navigate around. Conversely, positive thoughts give you a boost and make life fun, easier, and can even affect your bottom line and profitability.

Thinking negative thoughts is not a crime. It just makes it harder for you to live the life or have the career you most desire.

Upgrading to more positive thoughts will take practice. Here are some strategies and the benefits that come along with them.


  1. Start off with one day and build up to one week. Pay attention to every thought you think. If it is not positive, energizing and life-affirming, deliberately rethink a new thought. An example is if you hear yourself saying that you cannot do something, or that you do not deserve something. Those would be good thoughts to rethink.

  2. Learn to capture life-affirming, super-energizing thoughts. The ones that make you feel great. Say them out loud in a voice filled with enthusiasm. Let the universe hear you loud and clear. One of my favorites is “I CAN DO IT!” Another good one to capture are ones that start with “I deserve…” (love, financial freedom, radiant health, etc.).

  3. Create a filter. If the media or someone with whom you are conversing with makes a depressing or negative statement, let it live outside of you instead of automatically taking it in. Let other’s thoughts be theirs, as you select your own.


  1. You can move yourself more easily toward your goals. Filling yourself with radiantly life-affirming and self-affirming thoughts lessens the resistance and increases the energy between you and manifesting your desires.

  2. You will have more self-confidence and self-esteem. You believe in yourself no matter what, and you have the thoughts to prove it!

  3. Your energy, and thus your attractor factor will reflect this new inner landscape. People and opportunities will find you more easily.

Belief in yourself is the foundation of everything and it starts with what you tell yourself. Every thought counts, so begin to convert your self-talk to positive thoughts and create a solid foundation for your empowerment to produce bigger and better results.

For more a more personalized self-esteem improvement strategy, register for The Self-Esteem Workshop.

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