How To Convince Yourself To Improve
Your self-talk is hugely important. Your brain believes what you consistently tell it. In almost all cases, your brain believes you more than it believes anybody else. For example, in the beginning of many executive client engagements, my client had been telling themselves what they are not, rather than what they desired to be! “I’m not good at time management”, “I’m not good at speeches and presentations”, I’m not a good networker”.
First of all, you are not as bad as you tell yourself you are and secondly, it isn’t really who you want to be.
Sometimes, deep down we already know the truth about our behaviors.
Over the years, I have asked many of my clients to tell me what it is that drives them. One CEO told me, “It’s fear. Quite simply I am afraid to fail, so I work extra hard to make sure I have all my bases covered from fear of failing. What people believe is my self-confidence response is actually my fear reaction.”
Again, your brain believes what you tell it and whatever you tell the brain, it then takes a support position.
When I first bring up the subject of positive affirmations, many clients scoff and say they feel funny saying them because they are not the truth. However, as I stated earlier, most of what you are saying to yourself in your self-talk stream isn’t really the actual truth either. Sometimes it’s an excuse or sometimes it’s a justification or fear, but you are not as bad as you tell yourself you are, so why not switch that self-talk stream to a positive one?
The reason you have to say positive affirmations out loud is because you need to physically hear yourself say it in your voice. Your sub-consious mind needs to be re-programmed from negativity to positivity.
How To Get Started:
Write down some positive affirmations you want to use to counter-act some of the doubts, fears or shortcomings you face.
It might be useful to go half-steps rather than full-steps. So instead of “I’m never late to meetings”, you might use “I’m improving daily on managing my time and I’m less late than ever!” Once you’ve mastered the half-step, move to full-step.
Establish 3 times a day when you read your affirmations aloud to yourself. Most people are not accustomed to really hearing and listening to themselves, so this is a little more difficult than you think!
Once you have repeated your affirmations for a month and your confidence level has grown, then digitally record them on a device so you can play them back to yourself three times a day.
Repeat this process until you experience the results you desire, then take another area of your career and repeat the process with new affirmations.
Some Common Affirmations I Have Seen Utilized Effectively:
I am the architect of my life; I build its foundation and choose its contents.
Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.
My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil.
I am superior to negative thoughts and low actions.
I have been given endless talents which I begin to utilize today.
I forgive those who have harmed me in my past and peacefully detach from them.
My business is growing, expanding, and thriving.
My ability to conquer my challenges is limitless; my potential to succeed is infinite.
Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.
Happiness is a choice. I base my happiness on my own accomplishments and the blessings I’ve been given.
I am courageous and I stand up for myself.
I forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.
I may not understand the good in this situation but I know it is there.
I choose to find hopeful and optimistic ways to look at this.
I trust myself to make the best decision for me.
I take great pleasure in my relationships, even when we disagree or live different lives.
I never know what incredible person I will meet next and add to my network of connections.
I play the ultimate role in my career success. If success is to be it’s up to me.
I release all the false stories I make up in my head.
I choose to fully participate in today.
As you can see, affirmations work best when they are highly personal and in the present tense. I want to remind you also that you must say them conciously, loudly and with intent. Do not just say them lazily or with little actual intention. If you don’t say them as if you believe them, your brain and sub-conscious will sniff it out and just retain the previous self-talk stream and belief systems. You are the catalyst of convincing yourself and changing your inner tape system with new recordings of a new you.