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  • Writer's pictureTony Richards

How To Stop The Mess(es)

Recently on our Facebook Fan Page, we posted this:

The more messes you allow into your life, the more messes will become a normal (and acceptable) part of your life.

One person asked “What should one do if they’ve already violated the above?”

Great question.

A great leadership and personal development proverb states: “we make our habits and our habits make us”. Most everything we allow in our life is habitual. It’s habitual behavior that is typically the cornerstone of our decision making. Here are a few thoughts on it:

1. What is “normal”?

In every growth process, situations go from chaotic to become normalized, and finally to integrated. In other words, when messes first start showing up in our lives, they are disruptive because it causes chaos and is not normal. The more we begin to accept those situations we move from chaotic to “normal” and finally, we accept them to the degree they become routine or integrated.

2. Self-Awareness

  1. Why am I allowing this to surface in my life?

  2. What is my biggest fear of rejecting it?

  3. How did it become the “new normal”?

  4. Is this new or part of a previous pattern?

3.  Action Plan

  1. I make the quality decision to accept 100% personal responsibility for everything I think, feel, say and do concerning this and other similar situations I’ve identified as “messes”.

  2. Who can I identify that is a friend, co-worker or family member that will give me 100% encouragement and support concerning my decisions on this.

  3. How can I communicate my concerns in such a way to secure their support, encouragement and backing to create a new “tipping point” that builds a barrier to the mess showing up?

  4. What are the new decisions that I need to make to break the patterns and create a “new normal”?

  5. After identifying my biggest doubts and fears concerning the previous patterns, what are the values and beliefs I will rely upon that will enable me to continue in strength to break these patterns and I will be relentlessly positive through the process.

  6. Make the decision if I fail or fall short of my expectations of myself, I will immediately begin again and be relentlessly positive.

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